Houston, We Really Do Have A Problem

Typical. No sooner was my boss Houston poised to become a household name on this blog than he’s gone and taken himself another job.

I shall miss him, mostly because conversations with him tend to go a little like this:

ME: You will have received two emails with the same title. Delete the first one and keep the second one for your records.

HOUSTON: There is only one minute between the emails. What happened in that one minute?

ME: (embarks on long explanation about not having saved a document before attaching it to the email and blah blah blah)

HOUSTON: Are you still talking? I stopped listening half-way through.

ME: You asked me what happened, so I told you.

HOUSTON: Just because I asked doesn’t mean I want to hear the answer.

ME: You really need to reexamine the purpose of a question in conversation. Just sayin’.

HOUSTON: What? I wasn’t listening.

And, for the record, a typical text message exchange will go something like this:

Also for the record, there really is a ‘Slack Bitch’ board in my workplace where people are routinely written up as being a ‘slack bitch’ (usually those people who aren’t in the office to defend themselves) and Houston’s office *IS* in the girls’ toilets. It’s a long story and perhaps some clue to why he is leaving. Whatever.

Anyway, the point is I really will miss him. Why, I was so saddened by the news of his imminent departure that for a long time I could only communicate with him via Monsier Poupée – a small crocheted finger puppet and the latest in a long line of ‘upward management tools’ I’ve been developing. Again, it’s a long story and perhaps even further clue to why Houston is leaving.

On the upside, however, Monsieur Poupée is thinking of applying for Houston’s job.  That’ll teach him for leaving. That’ll teach him real good.

Giving Houston the finger puppet.

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5 responses to “Houston, We Really Do Have A Problem

  1. The puppet wins! Good luck with the job application 🙂

  2. how do I apply for his job? Then we can make it MANDATORY for everyone to wear tiaras and curtsey.

  3. I hate to break it to you, but……..the puppet is knitted. Not crocheted. Knitted. And Kelley, I hope you get the job. The world needs more tiaras and curtseys in the workplace.

  4. Hilarious. It sounds a little co-dependent a la the Liz Lemon/Jack Donaghey dynamic? But that’s what makes it hilarious. Good thing he’s going…

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